Are you oversupplied with website visitors? Wondering how to manage all the sales orders? Does the steady cha-ching rattle your nerves? Well, take heart. Brand marketers everywhere can reduce website traffic and all resulting revenue by following these handy tips:
First, confuse visitors from the get-go. People want to know what your brand is about and why they should choose it. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Instead, exclude that information and replace with vague, bewildering irrelevancies. Nothing drives them away faster than messy messaging.
Second, ensure your website is not mobile friendly. With smartphone and tablet use soaring, extreme discouragement is recommended. Your site, therefore, should be ‘mobile-hostile’. Among the results will be squeezed text and images, missing content, and incredibly slow performance – all guaranteed to drive users away.
Next, stuff extraneous matter galore into your website. The debris will slow load times to a snail’s pace, likely triggering user frustration and rapid abandonment. Traffic will dwindle to a trickle. You’re on your way to success.
Finally, implement the ‘tiny button’ strategy. This works especially well on compact mobile screens, where content is virtually microscopic. Small buttons will heighten the effect, increasing the chances of wrong-button selection. Lots of landing on wrong pages will follow. Guaranteed to work like a charm.
So, you think you’re tough enough to face the inconveniences of nonstop traffic and booming sales. OK, prove it by doing the opposite of the above recommendations. But be warned – the cash register may never stop ringing. Up for the challenge?
If you have questions or comments about maximizing website performance, or about any other brand-related topic, feel free to send them our way.